he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize