Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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