I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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