oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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