Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
