My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
