escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I could make wine with my vomit
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
