Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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