I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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