"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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