i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
