Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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