well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
