And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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