dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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