covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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