I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Randomize
