i jhust puked up my retainher.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
