I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
