Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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