I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
