ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
