Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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