Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
