I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
