idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
