She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize