trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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