oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
