i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You should frame my arrest warrant.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
