Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
