so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
