so let's talk penis.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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