so explain again why im purple
no
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
