Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
