How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
