I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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