we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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