he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
