he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
