It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
