A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Green mimosas i think yes
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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