I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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