good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
this just has baby written all over it
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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