so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
