So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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