So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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