im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I am available for nakedness
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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