I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
