Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
