Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
They are going to name an STD after you.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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