Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
