batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize