the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
