Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
