shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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