Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
