first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
