Me too!
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize